53,464 notes
tastefullyoffensive:

Turtle Twerking World Champion 2014 [video]

intergalacticwombat:

fun date idea: pay for my tattoo

(Source: hauntedwombat, via pearika)

uncle-tomfoolery:

jimmwhy:

tbh this moment made me reconsider all my life choices

MY LORD

(via tyleroakley)

whenwomenrefuse:

I was on the commuter rail and a man told me I was pretty and asked for my phone number. I responded with my usual “I’m flattered but I am a lesbian.” Normally this is where men get all embarrassed and walk away or switch their body language to platonic but this guy started yelling at me and said…

Living the good life #shiftmeal #stringsramen #yum #miso #chilioil #fuckme
4,179 notes
monsterman:

Häxan (1922)

scrapes:

bijonse:

WENDY IS A MESS

"oh my god i have to do that thing for nickelodeon"

Me currently

(Source: husssel, via gloomyteens)

iphone user: "*minding his own business* "
android user: "AHH look what we got here, another Apple Fanboy! "
iphone user: "im not really a fanboy "
android user: "let me guess, you just came back from snapchatting steve jobs's grave "
iphone user: "hey man thats in poor taste "
android user: "good luck getting your $300 jizz box to do what my Samsung G4TMX can *pulls out very large phone* "
iphone user: "it's quite large "
Android user: "you should see the stylus. it's a legit pencil! *tries to grab stylus, drops massive phone, it falls and lands on a chipmunk, breaking its neck* "
iphone user: "oh my god! "
android user: "oh my god is right! *picks up samsung* not a scratch on it. now thats some good engineering"